SAYes Mentoring: Listen to One’s Mentee, Set Measurable Goals, and Be Consistent
Every time I meet with my mentee, it’s a chance to pause, turn off the stresses of my day and focus my attention on her. It’s a time to listen, to really hear what’s going on in her life, not with the intention to fix something that’s wrong, but with the realisation that I might be the only person she expresses herself to in this way. It’s an extraordinary relationship the two of us have, and I try my best to honour and respect it.
I promised to tell those of you who have never been a SAYes mentor before what the experience can look like, so, here goes:
Most weeks, my mentee and I meet at a café where I buy her lunch, and we talk about what’s happening at school, at home, with boys and with her friends. SAYes gives each mentor/mentee pair a person‑centred plan to follow during the year, which includes setting attainable goals that are measurable but also flexible.
I’ve had to step back and think about what my mentee needs and in what capacity I can assist her with those needs. She started attending college this year because high school wasn’t a good fit. More recently, she moved out of her group home and now lives with her sister. These are big changes in her life and they play a huge part in the plan we’ve set for the year. Her goals have to do with college (keeping her grades up, avoiding distractions, temptations and just plain finishing her degree), and home life (how is she getting money, does she need a job, who will pay for her toothpaste and other expenses?)
These objectives and questions are in the back of my mind during every meeting. At the same time, I have to remember that this isn’t a contest. Each young person in the SAYes programme is living in a group home for a reason, and more often than not those reasons will greatly influence our meetings. Life events, feelings, stories – these all come up during our time together, and it’s important that I give them the space they deserve.
There is no winning or losing in this year of mentorship, only an understanding that by consistently meeting with your mentee each week, you are positively impacting their life.
Thanks for reading, Cherry