Cherry’s Blind Spots and Broaching Sex and Family Planning with her Mentee
How do we talk about uncomfortable things with our mentees? Whether they are 15 or 25, young people need to know how to respond to pressures in their lives and to feel confident that we (as mentors) have their backs no matter what. It’s our job to bring awareness to certain topics, even if they make us feel a little funny. So, how do we do it? We make the uncomfortable, comfortable.
My mentee is eighteen. I should be speaking to her about family planning, and I haven’t! As a younger mentor, you’d think it would be easy for me. The truth is, the idea of speaking to her about birth control doesn’t make me cringe; it’s the idea of pressing into her personal life that does.
Through this process of mentoring, I’m learning about my own blind spots, one of which is the idea that someone might need me even when they don’t make it very obvious. When SAYes’ Match Support checked in with me to see if I’d spoken to my mentee about family planning, I was forced to say that I hadn’t. While I’ve often asked my mentee about her relationships and who she’s dating, I realised we hadn’t talked at all about sex. She’ll hint at something and change the topic. I never push it. Speaking to Match Support made me realise that this is actually when I can move (just a little) that invisible boundary I’ve created between myself and my mentee in order to educate and support her.
When we talk to our mentees about the things we find tricky, we learn that they can help us to navigate. They may feel embarrassed or shy, but just by opening up a discussion, we’re moving these uncomfortable topics out of the shadows and into the light. This, in turn, empowers our mentees and allows them to feel safe and confident.
Thanks for reading, Cherry